FROM THE CROSS

Featuring JC ....Jesus Christ

Well people this has been a long time coming. I've been joking and talking about it forever and I finally worked up the effort to do a teaser.

Well it's not really a teaser but more of a Animation test..but it still made me laugh..

Enjoy...

For some reason Jesus saying, "Nigga You the Devil" is just funny.

More, "FROM THE CROSS" coming soon!

JC will return in, "The Whooft"

TROUBLES AT BAYSIDE HIGH

Queer or not I loved this show.....And I'm not afraid to admit it....eerr...uummm maybe that should be not ashamed or embarassed to admit it. Either way I think these video's really capture the true essence of Saved by the Bell, Featuring Mark-paul gossalar, mario lopez, dustin diamond, tiffany amber thiessen, Lark Voorhies, Elizabeth berkley and dennis haskins as the beloved Mr. Belding.

This shit's halarious.

"If I had a dirt hole i'd sit in it right now and cry alittle to myself"...

Jonvon On Erectile Dysfunction

EXPERIMENTS
WITH
INBREEDING

In breeding has always been the brunt of many, many jokes for a long time. Today I would like a chance to talk about the Pros and Con's of actual inbreeding.

To come up with a proper soloution we first need a sample. I've collected two possible candidates for our inbreeding experiment. Candidate 1, Me, Jonathan Vaughan, a very simple minded but to average excuse for a male. Candidate 2, Lisa Vaughan. Not as simple as me nor as average, but with a picture like that people will believe anything.

So for the sake of the experiment we are going to pretend that Lisa and I are 1st cousins. (hell who knows we could be). We are from a small town, with no secrets and no employment......and the possibility of no teeth after the age of 30. We first meet at the age of 1 yr at a family BBQ. And remain friends throughout our childhood right up until adolescence, right about the time our Hormon's go into over drive.

After a long akward night in the barn loft, the happy 15yr old couple is left with a bun in the oven.....The question now is, will it be french italian bread, or sour dough....My moneys on sour dough.

And after 9 long months we have an answer...........( it was actually 7 months due to severe complications.)

OH MY FUCK!!!

SUPRISE, IT'S FUCKING UGLY!!

Now if that isn't a picture waiting to be forgotten on a milk carton I don't know what one is. After spending the first half of it's life, trying to figure out weather to wear underwear with DICK HOLES or not, the Monster finally takes its own life due to absolute shame and humility.

So I said this would have some pros and con's.....We'll I can really think of a Pro to condone what's gone on here......So i'm just going with a big fat CON....People Inbreeding is truly funny...Keep up the jokes, the shame, the humiliation and the disfigured toddlers.

IT's BEEN QUITE A FEW DAY'S SINCE MY LAST POST

It certainly has been a couple days since my last post. Not that i've run out of things to say or complain about, I just haven't had the time. But just yesterday a friend sent me these pictures and I think there friggin halarious.. Take a look at these Sexy, Intelligent pieces of Photography.

Enjoy

OPTICAL ILLUSION

Nope, that's no optical Illusion, That's actually a bottle hanging out of her belly button. Unlike other amateurs who only hang little beer bottles out of there stomach, The Crusher here goes for A nice 2 L bottle of wine, Possible crowning her the world champion of trailer park trash bottle opening.

(Note the small trace of underwear sneaking out from under her stomach fat. And if I had to make A bet on what type of under wear she was wearing, I would assume they had dick holes in them)

PRINCE FUCKING CHARMING

I'm glad to see this man sticking up for his rights. Now that's equal rights at its best. You bought em gran 'ma you can carry em!! LOL This picture definatly makes me smile.

What would make it even better is if she actually paid for his too.

(is it possible she's got the dick hole underwear syndrome also??? HHmmmm?)

YOU CERTAINLY CAN SEE ME!

LOL his holyness Certainly is the life of the party.

Lookie Lookie, Pope's got a cookie.......but only for those that need to confess a dirty dirty, sweaty sin...

Or maybe he's on the look out for his next "Priest treat"( alter boy)

He could also be Doing his best Robin Williams impression...But I'm sure he's just showing a new class of Bishops and Priests the best ways to peek through holes in bathroom walls with out getting any dirt or dust into your sensitive eyes...

Church Issues are so important.

(also a love of the underwear with Dick holes)

WHERE'S WALDO?

lol I don't even need to say anything, This picture makes my penis move alittle...Not enough to go to the bathroom and rub one out...But it's a good start.

My hat's off to the luckiest man alive...or possibly dead now due to severe embarassment and shame, or definate suffocation.

UNDERWEAR WITH
DICK HOLE'S

IS FUNNY SHIT!

GIRL I WISH I GOT TO KNOW


by Jonvon

There's The video It's alittle out of sync because of how YouTube converted it..I'll try to fix it some time.

Chords

Verse G, C, D

Chours G, F, C

Verse 1

In the bank I see you standing there, I love the way you look and curled your hair.

If I had the nerve I'd say hello...........Girl I wish I got to know.

In the alley I see you walk by, I know you'd like me cause i'm a nice guy.

I said hello but you just had to go....Girl I wish I got to know.

From the bush's i can see through your window, sitting alone just watching you go.

I'll put on my mask and do it slow...............Bitch i'm gonna kill you slow.

Chorus

Bitch bitch I'm gonna kill you slow, I'm gonna squeez your throat I'm gonna make you moan.

Bitch bitch you never will grow old I'm gonna cut you up and watch you decompose.

Verse 2

Legs twitching and your face is shaking, Stab slash then a funny tingling.

Then I'll point to you and let you know............Bitch i'm gonna kill you slow.

In the woods at night with me you'll be, Broken mangled and alive just barley.

You'll scream and beg me to let you go...........Bitch I'm gonna kill you slow

chorus

I dig a hole and kick you the fuck in, The headlines tell me what you would have been.

I see a Victim now i have to go...........Girl I wish I got to know.

63 and

PREGNANT

I saw this on the news this morning and it turned my stomach just alittle. A 63 or 64 year old woman is going to have a baby. Now I hope that i'm not alone in saying, "THAT'S JUST WRONG."

And to top it all off she wasn't even pregnated the traditional way, she had to go and get artificialy inseminated. Not that she couldn't find an eager grandpa willing to ride that wild horse, Hell i would have done it just for the media coverage. But alas, being a single, lonely widower she opted for Insemination.

Now just to make it clear with everyone, my problem dosen't lay with the insemination, but with the depressing, abandoned and isolated life of this soon to be orphan. Why the hell would anyperson want to do that to a child. I'm aware that accident do happen and sometime old people do have kids and raise them well into there 20's. Though the odd's are definatly staggering over top of them, that they will even live to see them make it to junior high. But to willingly go out and inseminate yourself with child at that age is absolutley disgusting.

I Figured I could make a small list of potential problem I forsee:

1. Mother dies during delivery, from sever stain on her system due to pregnancy

2. Baby dies inside of the withered old uterus due to malnurishment

3. Baby is born but soon chokes to death because the mother is to arthritic to run for help.

4. Kid commits suicide at the age of 6 due to a whole new breed of YOUR MOMMA JOKES

5. Mother dies, though the shelterd childs mind snaps and we have another norman bates.

6. Child beats mother to death after eating one too many hard candies and cups of tea for lunch.

7. Child is home schooled in the fine art of the PRICE IS RIGHT and can never find real work and dies very poor.

8. Child is caught masturbating to JC penny catalogues but mother can't explaine the birds and the bees because she was artifically inseminated.

9. Everyday's a new day when you have alzheimer's

10.Trying on your mothers clothes never fucked a child up more.

Apparently you don't get more mature and responsible with age.

Well done lady

$161 MILLION TO BOARDER SECURITY?????

WHAT THE FUCK??

I did this little chart up to show where I think the fate of our country and the world is going with his rolay dictator Stephen Harper at the helm of our once great and beautiful country.

Click to enlarge chart.

I can't get over this Harper Government. It's disgusting and obvious he's trying to turn our own Great nation of Canada into the United States. I would just like to discuss a few highlights from the budget that stuck me as alittle odd.

1. $161 million for increased Boarder control.

WTF??? who and what do we need $161 million dollars to protect ourselves from at the boarder? We'll we only boarder with one country the USA and I don't think Pals Harper and Bush need that kind of protection from each other.........But maybe, Just maybe because the USA has insane, overly protected boarder patrols and security, Harper thinks we need it also..Since the man can't think for himself I would say this is very likely. And of course there is always the FEAR angle. Make people think there is a threat and you can get away with anything, as long as the people think it's in there best interest.... THREAT LEVEL ORANGE PEOPLE...FEAR FEAR FEAR....Well DAMN we better just invade someone. FUCK YOU HARPER...give the money to a food bank, where it's actually needed.

2. $5.5 billion...BILLION..BILLION!!! To increase our Armed Forces!!

WOW!! WOW!! That's alot of medic packs to hand out. Maybe we could use the money to go to starving countries and build well's and Farms, help rebuild there agriculture back up so they can support themselves and stop killing each other for food. Take away peoples reason to fight and what are we left with??? Well if your Bush, a war in Iraq for Oil...But not everyone is a Dictator.....DON'T BE A DICTATOR HARPER YOU DICK!!

3. $450 million to Aboriginals for education programs for families, safe water and better housing.!!

Hey over here Government..Yup me the little guy in the corner. You know i was born here also in this great land. I work hard, pay my bills and respect my fellow man. Though sometime i find it hard to pay my bills or rent, or don't always have money for food. How about giving me a free house and education (or at least better rates on my student loan).....Oh wait I understand, I haven't bitched or complained enough or embarassed the government enough to have this little problem of mine paid off and swept under the rug. Out of sight and out of mind.
I work for what I have and so should they.

4. Child care, Sports tax, Transit tax, TAX TAX TAX....

I'm a single white male. Steadily employeed and a hard worker. So where are my big breaks? How about a break in Incom tax's? like your giving to the unemployeed lower class just so they don't feel penalized for working...touchee...let's support the leeches of the welfare system. FUCK YOU.

I could go on but it just makes me angrier and angrier the more i write about it.

So say good bye to Canada "our home and native land" because with Harper in control and the conservatives it's begun...We are turning into the dictating, fear permoting, selfish USA.

GOD SPEED CANADA

WOULDN'T SAYING YES JUST BE EASIER?

Guy's you really have to watch where you step....That's just disgusting!

HOW TO CREATE......

A SPOILED BRAT!!

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!!! First off before everyone get's there hate on for me and my Infinate Racism, I would like to say I'm not a racist. Shit bothers me and I speak my mind, and this shit bothers me.

The once so Noble and pround Indians of North America (seen above) are a huge part of our heritage. There legacy deserves respect and admiriation I believe. Though I also believe that the half Indians or quarter Indians that live on the reserves all over our great country do not deserve anything that isn't earned. Sure we came to your land, burned your Tee-Pee's (lol tee-pee), mated with your women and wiped out your food supply so we could sell the furs for profit. But that was then and this is now. GET THE FUCK OVER IT!! YES, it did happen, no one is denying it.

But they won't get over it and the Government isn't making it anybetter by giving them land, houses, food, cars....Basically what ever they want! I don't really blame it all on the Natives, If the government wanted to give me everything i needed to survive i wouldn't complain...Shit, i might even quit my day job. No need in working for anything when it's all provided. I might as well throw ambition right out the window, Won't be needing that anymore.

Now that the Government has them where they want them, swept under the rug, out of sight and out of mind, life can again continue. But SUPRISE!!! it dosen't!! Now they want more land, more hunting rights, more money..more more more!!! Well all I can say to that is, if your going to spoil your child expect him to stomp his feet when he wants a better bigger present for christmas, and they want.

Though the greatest present they've been given in my opinion is a FREE EDUCATION!! Maybe this hasn't been explained to them, the intricate workings of a proper education...But i'll try to expline it the best way I can.

Education

ed·u·ca·tion ( P ) Pronunciation Key (j-kshn)n.
The act or process of educating or being educated.
The knowledge or skill obtained or developed by a learning process.
A program of instruction of a specified kind or level: driver education; a college education.
The field of study that is concerned with the pedagogy of teaching and learning.
An instructive or enlightening experience: Her work in the inner city was a real education.

Now i'm sure that might be alittle confusing at first, so I thought of a soloution that may help you understand. Explained in Native reserve talk.

Jimmy "drink like a fish" a-walk-walk just spent his whole monthly allowance on cheap booze and smokes, and now he has no more money till next month. If Jimmy "drink like a fish" a-walk-walk had an education he could make his booze and smokes and have enough for a life time.

Basically it's take alittle pride in yourself, stop accepting handouts from the Government, start making a better example for your kids and at leasttry to make the appearance of wanting more for yourself and stop being STUPID INDIANS!! Show the people of this country that you do want more then what's given to you. Show us you want what is earned and deserved.